Author Archives: Daniel Carney

About Daniel Carney

I am a full-time student of ORU and working on my marketing degree. My passions are sports and children's ministry and I hope to go into one or both of those fields with my degree. I am the son of a pastor and I love ministry and reaching out, especially missions.

ADJUST

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When the world starts caving in on us, everyone needs someone to talk to. I have had this experience several times lately and have been so lucky to have great friends and parents to turn to for guidance. But when our students and children are in these situations, who is it they turn to? Usually the mom and dad, right? No? Then who is it that they go to when they need a listening ear? A best friend? Or maybe just anyone who will listen?

In Proverbs, Solomon encourages us to continually seek wisdom. And while parents may be full of wisdom, they aren’t always the first people our students choose to run to. Most of the time, unless we have established a good line of communication, they feel too awkward to try and talk to their parents.

So what do we do about this?

Well maybe, as the relationships with their parents begin to change and grow, we need to help our teenagers find someone else who can be that voice of wisdom in their lives. And in this, finding that new voice could mean that the students can offer their parents some peace of mind. Because while their parents may not be hearing everything, someone is, and that someone cares for this student and the choices they are making.

I first hand know how important this is. I was blessed to have great youth pastors when I was growing up that I have maintained a relationship with into my college years. And they still are there any time I need them, to help guide me. Also, I have an amazing friend who is always there to encourage me. Although they don’t have too much experience, they always try and find something from the Bible to help me through my tough times.

Bottom Line: When your parents are no longer the primary voice speaking into your life, you need someone else speaking into your life with wisdom.

ADAPT

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It is that time of year again. Winter begins to turn into spring, and the leaves finally begin to come back. The cold weather starts creeping away and then suddenly, summer is upon us! But we must remember, seasons are a good thing. They remind us that everything changes and progresses. Everyone has their favorite seasons and certain ones they hate, but I am sure that everyone would agree that each season has it’s own beautiful characteristics.

And when it comes to families, sometimes we need that reminder too.

As our students and youth adjust to no longer being just a son or daughter, but also being a friend, a schoolmate, an athlete, a musician—or whatever else that might be beginning to define who they are—they sometimes just need the reminder that all this change is normal. That the tension this change brings is normal. That the change is good and it is a process of growing up. And while the changing way they relate to their parents may feel weird, it’s not only good—it’s necessary. The key is learning to live in the tension that changing from season to season requires.

 

Bottom Line: Growing away from our families feels uncomfortable, but it’s an essential part of growing up.

EVOLVE

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When we were growing up, our family was everything to us. Our parents were our superheroes, our idols, and everything we looked forward to being. I remember when I was younger about writing about my hero, my dad, making sure I added something about my mom in the story as well. They were our safe place to run to. They were our calm in the storm. They were the people whose opinions we trusted most and whose advice we took to heart. But then over the years, and especially the teen years, the voices of our moms and dads become more like nails on a chalkboard than the sweet sound of comfort. We seemed to almost be in physical pain when they tried to talk to us about anything, even if it was just asking how our day was. I think most of us probably did experience some physical pain when we were asked “where are you going?” or “what are you doing tonight?”

So what happened? Where did that closeness, trust, and comfort go?

What happened was that our relationship evolved. And while that isn’t necessarily the most comfortable thing in the world for a teenager to go through, it also isn’t the worst thing either. So what do we do as our students become less and less willing to listen to the wisdom their families give? How do we handle the everyday conflicts that come up between children and their families? How do we open the eyes of not only the youth, but their parents as well? These are important questions worth finding answers to. Because, let’s face it, the relationship is changing whether we want it to or not. But as difficult as this may be to handle right now, that change can be for the good of everyone.

Over the next few weeks I will be bringing you more understanding of what I mean by this. We will see somewhat of a 3 part series as to how to help this awkward situation that everyone faces. And my hope is that readers of all ages will have some sort of a takeaway and be able to relate to anyone going through this. For the parents, be sure to pay attention because this may be an eye opener. And youth, or non-parents, be sure to read with an open mind and try and see both sides.

DC

HOPE

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We have all seen it. Kids bored to death in a church service. Youth not paying attention at all to the word is being preached, but to their phones or each other instead. Younger children fighting in the middle of a supposedly “fun” message because they have no clue that something is actually going on.

Whose fault is it really though?

In most cases you blame the audience. There is usually a smaller percentage that actually is listening and is giving you their full attention, so you just think the others are being rude. In youth groups, you may think they are rebelling, since it is that time in their life. Go a little bit younger though and what’s the excuse? Is it honestly always the child’s fault?

It may be. There may be something behind the scenes that no one knows is going on. Their parents may not have raised them right, there may be trouble at the home, they may be getting bullied at school or just having a difficult time. So yes, it’s the child’s fault……. Right?

Wrong!

I mean yes, there may be underlying things going on that you don’t know of, but as a teacher, a minister, a youth group leader, a pastor, you have to be the one to reach out to that one. Not just stick to the books and what’s planned for that day, but to show God’s light and love.

But guess what? If there aren’t any behind-the-scenes things going on, it is still YOUR fault if they are not paying attention. You may have an awesome curriculum, something that’s highly interactive and full of games! But are you just reading it? Are you just going by the script and being dull? Raising your voice a little on certain words doesn’t mean you are being entertaining! Curriculums are for ideas, not play by plays. Just read them, know what the plan is, and wing it!

This site, this blog, is to provide HOPE, ways of Helping Other People Enter into the kingdom of heaven and to explode generations of believers that are excited about their beliefs and know their foundation. Lets shake this planet and ignite a fire in the hearts of people. Go meet someone new. Go help someone out. Go be a light to someone today!